I Would Like To Be Tired, Please

It's nearly six in the morning. I am no more tired than I was in the middle of the day. And that, thanks to spuuurng buurnk and plenty of sleep, was not tired at all. My eyelids are not one pound heavier than they were hours ago. And due thanks is, once again, given to spuurnngnnggg bururrrnnk. But seeeriously. It's nearly six in the mooorning. You think I'd be at least... kind of tired.

And so it has been. Three nights in a row. And so it shall be. Until the end of time.

If you are awake now too, let me know. 'Cause we should date or something. I'll buy you a coffee. A muffin. Sex. Oatmeal. A cinnamon roll.

Yeah. I said sex. Snuck it in there, really. What can you do, right? I'm a man.

No, but seriously. We should date or something.